its doing some strange shit. Sometimes I can log on, sometimes I cant. Sometimes I see stuff, sometimes I dont. Tonight it told me my cache was full so i closed the browser and reopened it and hey presto I'm in ... WEIRD.
Cant say I'm particularly proud of myself at the moment, I had a big fat gain of 1.7kgs on Friday. Thats 850gms a week - thats bloody ridiculous. Less than four months until i do go away and the scales are going the wrong way. Stoopid.
I found myself have a mini meltdown about how much I was over constantly looking after my weight, how I was sick of watching what I ate, drank, thought, chose for activities. I was sick of being obsessed about myself and on and on and on ... but the reality is. This is me, this is my life and whether I like it or not I have to pull myself together and just get on with it. Even at goal I'll have to constantly work hard at maintaining my weight by having a healthy active lifestyle. This will never go away. NEVER. Actually, thats not technically correct. If it goes away, I will end up @ 175kg, unfit, unhealthy with no self confidence or esteem and being miserable. So the choice is mine. I have not been blessed with the genetics or metabolism to live a life of not having to worry about my health. Actually come to think of it ... I dont think there is a person alive who could honestly say they dont have to worry about their health. I guess my body is unkind to me in that it acts like a sponge more so than some others. Whether its extra dried apricots, a glass of wine or fish 'n'chips I just need to find the limit for me that makes the difference between maintenance and weight gain. After two and a half years I havent quite worked that out yet. Yep its frustrating, but its my life and I just have to accept that.
So ThursdayI saved lives and donated blood. Friday I had a fantastic work out at the gym - 1 full hour of cardio + weights, Saturday I went roller skating! The first time in 3 weeks - it was great fun :) Sunday I cooked and prepared some healthy meals for the week ahead and met a girlfriend for coffee and got in touch with myself again. All is not lost and its great to be alive right now :)
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Blogger is weird
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4 comments:
I can so relate to your post, I feel like I've spent the past few years constantly worrying and working at this weight loss thing. You are right - it's not going to go away. Even though it's a constant battle, you have the same thoughts as me, at least now we are fitter, healthier and a lot happier with ourselves.
Have a great week:)
SNAP.. my post on Friday was similar... it is the hardest thing getting your head around it.. We will always have to worry about what we are eating and how much exercise and Wow that is scary.... I know a magic pill isn't going to take it away but sometimes I wish there was one as I feel like I do so much yet stay the same on the scales.
Girl you are still my inspiration so keep up the good work and hey phewey on the gain... you will make it up in no time.. because you are the most focussed person I have ever met.
Love ya
CM
sounds like we are all in this mind set just now hun. Weight issues take over but if we give up completely the alternative isn't nice REMEMBER we have to find a hapy medium not let it take over but don't give up either casue we didn't liek that place either it was dark and cold and VERY UNHAPPY. You can do this hun ok so it might take longer but it will happen. HUGS
Yeap, me too. Am sick of weight and everything to do with it, but unfortunately we're stuck with this issue for the rest of our lives! GRRRRRR!!!
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