Goodnight and Good Gardening

well ... this is a monumental post and ... it will be my last.

Today, 4 years ago I walked into my first WeightWatchers meeting. 8 January 2004. I had never felt so embarrassed, ashamed and humiliated in my entire life and those emotions dredged up a desire that I'd never felt or faced before. I had got to a point in my life where I was sick of being fat, feeling ugly and undesireable. All the while I displayed an outward showing of confidence and composure, but inside I was burning with a self loathing that only others that share my obesity dilema would understand.

Four years ago I embarked on a journey of self discovery. I learnt so much about myself. I learnt how to love myself again, I learnt how to respect myself and I learnt how worthwhile I was to my family, friends and society in general.

I still remember my first WeightWatchers weigh in so bloody clearly, it makes me tear just thinking about it. I remember being told to get off the electronic scales and use the hospital scales and the horrifying figure of 174kgs being written on my "passport". I remember sitting at my first WW meeting not really listening to my leader, just thinking ... holy fucking cow - how the hell did I let myself get like this? I remember coming home and bawling my eyes out to Craig telling him I'd joined WW! He'd had no idea I was even contemplating "another" weightloss effort. I also remember that fleeting look of "oh god here we go again" flash in his eyes.

All that didnt matter because I'd made the decision to commit to me on that day, and although I really didnt consider what the final outcome was going to be four years down the track, I was determined I was going to give it the very best shot I could - it was either that or I would die a horrible early death and I didnt deserve that - neither did my family and friends.

If someone told me four years ago that I would lose 80kgs, 25% of my body fat, 100's of centimetres, undergo extensive cosmetic surgery and accomplish the most amazing fitness goals of becoming a gym bunny, competing in triathlons and tramping national parks I would have thought I was reading the biography of a superhuman. I mean that kind of thing just doesnt happen to normal people does it? Well bugger me ... you and I have witnessed just that. It's surreal and its humbling.

I have accomplished what I wanted and now I have the tools to live a lifetime of health and happiness. For the rest of my life to be fit and healthy I know now what I need to do and I know how to go about doing it.

Little did I realise four years ago how much support I would have in my journey, how many friends I would make and how many peoples lives I have influenced for the better!

Thank you for sharing my journey. My weightloss blog has now run its course. I wont be deleting this blog, it serves as a reminder for me of where I've come from and what I want to maintain. I'll still be around, I'll drop in and visit your journey's and I'll leave a comment when I think its needed. Email me if you miss me heaps LOL

Craig and I have wonderful plans for our future - we are going to live our dream. We hope you get to live your dream to. Onwards and upwards. Keep an eye out for us in your travels.